Post by Maidservant Bloom on Feb 6, 2017 21:21:33 GMT
This thread is for all your incredibly lame puns and joking needs! Please abide by the forum rules and remember: the death metal serpent is watching you through a tube.
Puns I stole from a banned member of Symforá GX, because they might be amusing to some members here. Technically, this would count as "quoting banned members", but the forum rules are probably in limbo - so how low can they go?
At any rate, this may lead to my punishment, so if the majority of the active members decide to punish me, so be it. The Bloom that was disregarded forum rules of old forums (for instance, I had ignored all "no shipping" rules), not to mention that I am merely an eleven-year old girl (since when do most eleven-year olds abide by rules?).
feel free to listen to "megalovania" while posting in this thread, although i decided to listen to "battle against a true hero" instead. didn't feel like punning away from sans. he's amazing. compared to a giant, he's puny, i will admit, but sans is more amazing than a giant. figure that out.
of course, he used to be all skin and bones, but now he's just bones. at least he does not get written on like papyrus does, being that the ancient egyptians, greeks and romans used papyrus to write on. poor guy was cut into strips and pressed flat, and made into paper.
it's possible that this may become a general "random joke" thread, but then, if there are puns in the oven, what can you do but wait?
What if Hitler actually said "Glass de Juice" but his official heard "Gas the Jews" instead?
Maybe Hitler was just thirsty on a hot summer afternoon.
Stupid officials threw so many jews into the oven.
Or maybe there was juice in the oven.
That'd be a bad idea probably, but in either case, they all melt/boil and die.
So does that mean that, when Jews melt, do they because Jews Juice?(Clearly he never heard of that Francis E. Dec guy who came to the conclusion of Nazi Jews. And then there's the "Worldwide Mad Deadly Communist Gangster Computer God"… yep, Dec went stark raving mad alright. Interstice lamia.)
ι (to π): "Get rational."
π (to ι): "Get real."
Salandit and Salazzle are Poison/Fire-types, right? They can deliver some sick burns.
There are ten types of people in this world.
A fellow Eternal had a bad reaction to watching a Charlie Brown Christmas Special.
You people, congratulations.
Two guys walked into a bar. But did the second guy see it and duck? Nope.
I think I may have maid my own hell now.
What is a Chinese female domestic servant?
How does a Roman doctor keep track of their fourth patient?
Of course, Undertale is so popular, but some people think it doesn't make any Sans.
The Energizer Bunny was recently arrested.
There's one nation with multiple rulers, maybe even millions of them. The nation's name is Procrastination.
Is there any member here who's Galactose intolerant?
What is a skeleton's instrument of choice?
Everyone was talking about this car, but I've never seen it before. Until it hit me…
You guys want programming advice? Every bit counts.
Good meat puns are rare. Was it offal? Or does no-one have a beef with it? Perhaps there was something more important at steak? Or will everyone just ham it up a lot? Why not run the meat puns into the ground? Let's not be jerky, though!
There was once a construction worker that was awarded for giving a dam about flood control!
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring when I was ten. I think I dyed a little inside.
What do a musician and a locksmith have in common?
I was once asked to make a chicken dinner. I had no idea what to make. What did I do? I decided to just wing it.
Finding tree jokes that are Oak-ay isn't hard, Yew just have know where to look. I'm Knot joking when I say they Spruce up a conversation.
Rita was born in July. She cannot make astrology jokes anymore, because people would call her… Cancerous.
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Some relationships just don't work out.
The guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
If I tell you a chemistry joke, I wouldn't get a reaction.
I would like to annoy you with bird puns, but then again, toucan play at that game.
Did you year about the guy who got hit in the face with a soda can? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Programmers don't like nature, because it has too many bugs. Whether or not KarjamP wants to fix those bugs, who knows.
Ever tried eating a clock? It is very time-consuming.
My toy's batteries had alkaline problems, so they went to AA meetings.
Herb gardeners who work extra, they get thyme and a half.
Last night, I dreamed that I wrote Lord of the Rings. Cassie of the Sharingan said I was Tolkien in my sleep.
To whoever it was that took my Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word. Even if you Excel at hiding from me, the Outlook isn't good here, folks! If anyone wants to PowerPoint people in the right direction, go for it; just remember to at least give them OneNote of advice. Don't give them contact information for my Publisher, that would be real Suite of me if I did. I have no Access to related puns, sorry.
Some say I'm a Dora bowl.
Why is hunting eagles a bad idea? It would be ill-eagle. Of course, this is rather old… because the eagle is legally ill.… now, let's punish this thread, the printers want to lolcats.
Yes, I may be laughing at some of these puns. I lack a normal sense of humor, for I believe that being eaten by a flower dragon is funny.
Puns I stole from a banned member of Symforá GX, because they might be amusing to some members here. Technically, this would count as "quoting banned members", but the forum rules are probably in limbo - so how low can they go?
At any rate, this may lead to my punishment, so if the majority of the active members decide to punish me, so be it. The Bloom that was disregarded forum rules of old forums (for instance, I had ignored all "no shipping" rules), not to mention that I am merely an eleven-year old girl (since when do most eleven-year olds abide by rules?).
GasMaskGhoul said:
basically, you have to make at least one pun in a post, lest you get punished with a pun at point-blank range, because a punny game would hopefully appease our pungeon king, sans. if you don't make any puns worthy of punishment, you are going to have a bad time at sans' hand.feel free to listen to "megalovania" while posting in this thread, although i decided to listen to "battle against a true hero" instead. didn't feel like punning away from sans. he's amazing. compared to a giant, he's puny, i will admit, but sans is more amazing than a giant. figure that out.
of course, he used to be all skin and bones, but now he's just bones. at least he does not get written on like papyrus does, being that the ancient egyptians, greeks and romans used papyrus to write on. poor guy was cut into strips and pressed flat, and made into paper.
it's possible that this may become a general "random joke" thread, but then, if there are puns in the oven, what can you do but wait?
GodOfAggravations said:
Ovens you say?What if Hitler actually said "Glass de Juice" but his official heard "Gas the Jews" instead?
Maybe Hitler was just thirsty on a hot summer afternoon.
Stupid officials threw so many jews into the oven.
Or maybe there was juice in the oven.
That'd be a bad idea probably, but in either case, they all melt/boil and die.
So does that mean that, when Jews melt, do they because Jews Juice?
GasMaskGhoul2ElectricBoogerloo said:
I'm a frayed knot.ι (to π): "Get rational."
π (to ι): "Get real."
Salandit and Salazzle are Poison/Fire-types, right? They can deliver some sick burns.
There are ten types of people in this world.
{Get it yet?}Those would be the people who hate mathematics.
Then, the people who like mathematics (or "geeks" as you might call them).
And then, those who realized that it's a ternary joke.
Then, the people who like mathematics (or "geeks" as you might call them).
And then, those who realized that it's a ternary joke.
A fellow Eternal had a bad reaction to watching a Charlie Brown Christmas Special.
{Why?}She was allergic to something. What something? Peanuts.
You people, congratulations.
{Spoiler}You've Mettaton of friends. (And foes, sadly, but what can you do 'bout that.)
Two guys walked into a bar. But did the second guy see it and duck? Nope.
I think I may have maid my own hell now.
What is a Chinese female domestic servant?
Maid in China.
How does a Roman doctor keep track of their fourth patient?
{Spoiler}Easy, the doctor just gives the fourth patient an IV.
Of course, Undertale is so popular, but some people think it doesn't make any Sans.
The Energizer Bunny was recently arrested.
{Another Spoiler}The charge was battery.
There's one nation with multiple rulers, maybe even millions of them. The nation's name is Procrastination.
Is there any member here who's Galactose intolerant?
What is a skeleton's instrument of choice?
A trombone.
Everyone was talking about this car, but I've never seen it before. Until it hit me…
You guys want programming advice? Every bit counts.
Good meat puns are rare. Was it offal? Or does no-one have a beef with it? Perhaps there was something more important at steak? Or will everyone just ham it up a lot? Why not run the meat puns into the ground? Let's not be jerky, though!
There was once a construction worker that was awarded for giving a dam about flood control!
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring when I was ten. I think I dyed a little inside.
What do a musician and a locksmith have in common?
Neither one should ever be out of key.
I was once asked to make a chicken dinner. I had no idea what to make. What did I do? I decided to just wing it.
Finding tree jokes that are Oak-ay isn't hard, Yew just have know where to look. I'm Knot joking when I say they Spruce up a conversation.
Rita was born in July. She cannot make astrology jokes anymore, because people would call her… Cancerous.
Maidservant Bloom said:
These may be tearable puns, but hay, it's not in anyone's jeans. Becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.Why don't some couples go to the gym? Some relationships just don't work out.
The guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
If I tell you a chemistry joke, I wouldn't get a reaction.
I would like to annoy you with bird puns, but then again, toucan play at that game.
Did you year about the guy who got hit in the face with a soda can? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Programmers don't like nature, because it has too many bugs. Whether or not KarjamP wants to fix those bugs, who knows.
Ever tried eating a clock? It is very time-consuming.
My toy's batteries had alkaline problems, so they went to AA meetings.
Herb gardeners who work extra, they get thyme and a half.
Last night, I dreamed that I wrote Lord of the Rings. Cassie of the Sharingan said I was Tolkien in my sleep.
To whoever it was that took my Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word. Even if you Excel at hiding from me, the Outlook isn't good here, folks! If anyone wants to PowerPoint people in the right direction, go for it; just remember to at least give them OneNote of advice. Don't give them contact information for my Publisher, that would be real Suite of me if I did. I have no Access to related puns, sorry.
Some say I'm a Dora bowl.
Why is hunting eagles a bad idea? It would be ill-eagle. Of course, this is rather old… because the eagle is legally ill.
Yes, I may be laughing at some of these puns. I lack a normal sense of humor, for I believe that being eaten by a flower dragon is funny.